| [17 May 2007] Another burst of anger
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Even if you call me suplada a million times, whatever you say, I will NEVER ever like him. Not in this world. Not in this lifetime. I don't want to be plastic for people to like me. And I don't want to be plastic either to people that I don't like. Don't force me to answer your question. PLEASE.
You don't think I realize it? Why are you forcing me to like him? Why are you so worried and do all these efforts to please him? Why do you have so many secrets, wanting to do this and that but offer no explanation? It's DISGUSTING, and I'm getting sick of it.
I am afraid to know it. To hear it from you. Even if it will set me free, I don't want to seek the truth. What if I'm right all along? I wouldn't know what I would do, what I'm capable of doing. And so, I beg you. Show me. Prove to me that there's nothing. That I was wrong all this time.
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| [14 May 2007] Election Day
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Whew. Just got home from the precincts. I volunteered to help out at the polling center today (since I won't be able to vote and I just wanted to take part in the Elections in a way). This is going to be a one-time thing, that's for sure. I have to make sure that I get registered for the Presidential Elections so I won't have to help out again.
Really. Tiring is the word. I was there from 7 in the morning til 11 in the evening. Because there weren't enough PPCRV volunteers, we were given WHOLE DAY shifts. Pollwatching + witnessing the tallying of votes. Wuh. And they're even expecting me to stay and wait for the closing of the ballot box, etc., but I told our coordinator that I have a review class tomorrow (which is oh, so true, unfortunately), so she let me off.
But it was a new experience, so... there. Hahaha. I got bored. Nothing too exciting like actually encountering flying voters or candidates and their men bribing people to vote for them. The precinct I was in was clean. Baaah. But then, yey for clean elections.
Oh, haha, one of the pollwatchers tried to hit on me. I was being courteous to the other watchers in the room, you know, being one of the younger volunteers and being new in the "business". So, even if the others were around my age, but because they were new faces and were already pollwatcher pros, I was always saying po and opo when they're talking to me. Finally, humirit na si isang pollwatcher:
"Alam mo yung nagpo-po sa'kin eh nagiging chicks ko."
Like, eew? Who said anything about being his "chick"? And then he offered me water twice, even when I had my own. Tapos pag bumababa ako para pumunta sa Voters' Assistance Desk (the precinct I was in was on the 2nd floor), aba, sasabihan pa ko ng "Ingat ha." At and FC, hah! Di nga kami nagpakilala sa isa't isa, sinilip na pala ang megahumongous pollwatcher ID ko at tinatawag na kong Pattie! Yeeeeesh. He's not even cute.
Whattaday. I swear, I will get inedible ink on my finger three years from now.
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| [07 May 2007] Music and Lyrics
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He's uber witty and undeniably handsome. He has a sexy accent. He plays the piano. He sings. OMG.
Hugh Grant is LOVE.
***
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need 'em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
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