One of the things I really abhor is when I'm being prevented from what I want to do. You can probably stop me from attending a party or going somewhere with my friends, but I'd probably hold a grudge against you if you stop me from doing what I REALLY want to do, as in something that I want to put my heart in  .
Just like a while ago, I asked my dad if I could go to the Gawad Kalinga Youth Assembly this Saturday. Initially, he refused. He told me I don't have the time anymore. Lahat na raw sinalihan ko. I told him it's for a good cause. Lahat naman raw ng ginagawa ko for a good cause. Huwhat?!?  Tinitigan ko nga ng masama... habang nakatalikod siya, shempre. Hehehe.
Have you heard of Gawad Kalinga (GK)? It's an organization "aiming to realize the vision for a new Philippines with no more slums. It's about rebuilding communities and being a hero to our country." Anyway, USC Chair Albert Domingo invited his friend, which is the president of UP-GK, to attend the All Leaders' Conference last Monday and present the organization. And so people from their org came and presented themselves. I've learned that GK does not only build homes, but they build communities. I joined a Habitat for Humanity activity once, but they seem to focus on providing homes only. GK has 5 programs: Shelter, Health, Education, Livelihood and Community Empowerment. GK believes in "living simply, so that others may simply live." They have stories that people from other countries sell their luxury cars and mansions and just drive simple cars and live in simple houses so that they could provide a house for GK. One GK house costs Php 50,000. Anyway, the president of the org hopes that we could join them and help in the programs, especially the Health program. I want to join. Parang ngayon na nga lang uli ako naging ganito ka excited about joining something  .
I've always been conscious of my grades. Late elementary, high school and early college, babad ako sa aral. But then, I thought, I don't want to graduate knowing that all I ever did was to study. I know that it is priority #1 since I need remarkable grades to get into med school, pero ano ba yun... college, though it's supposed to be more serious, it's also supposed to be more fun at the same time. Ano na sasabihin ko nyan pag may nagtanong sa'kin, "Anong ginawa mo nung college?" "Nag-aral lang." "Ah."  Ngek. Yuck. Nerd. Wouldn't it be better if I'm doing something (or according to my parents, "everything else") while I'm studying, and still get more or less good grades? Tiba?
They say they're just concerned because I don't have time for anything anymore. I don't get to rest. My eyebags are getting deeper everyday. Perhaps that I'm young and I don't understand and I make rash decisions. But you see, I AM young... and I want to do as much as I can while I'm young and growing. I want to grow up knowing that I've done so many things, good things, in life.
They also don't understand what I feel. They don't know... they don't feel the love I have for doing the things that I do. Mahal ko ang ginagawa ko, bakit ba? Bakit kailangan nila akong pigilan? Alam ko sa sarili ko mahirap, to do and to be to all those at the same time. Eh ganun talaga eh. I am not a masochist. Pero diba nga, God never said it would be easy. He only said it would be worth it. The feeling of fulfillment overcomes that of tiredness  .
Sometimes, they just let me continue with my activites, thinking that it would make me look good when I apply for admission to a medical school. OMG  . Ang babaw ko naman kung ganun ako, na sumasali lang ako sa kung ano so I'd have something to put in my resume. That would probably be one of the perks, you know. But geez, I'm not that kind of person.
I have been inactive in volunteer outreach work for some time. It's time I put myself back to helping others. Di ko alam kung bakit hindi ako sumali ng Pahinungod. Perhaps joining Gawad Kalinga is my calling? Or maybe it's in their mode of presenting their cause?
They said in the GK presentation that recently, it's all about "ibagsak". Enough of that, they said. We should focus more on "itayo", rebuilding a new Philippines. Ganda noh? 
Oh yeah, in the end, my dad allowed me to go. Binabawi ko na ang masamang titig. Hehe. I made him read the pamphlet that UP-GK gave us. Then he entered the room and said, "Anak, mukhang good cause nga toh. Sige, punta ka, sama ako sa Sabado."
I said, "Dad! YOUTH nga eh."
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